Day 222: Pasty or Lazy?

Bunting

An attempt to buy a bikini for the up-and-coming holiday.  I am pasty and heavy-limbed under the unflattering lights in the cubicle.  Whenever I try on any sort of swimwear, I always like to heighten the glamour by leaving my socks on (a very strong and sexy look). 

Top marks to TK Maxx, who have security-stapled tops and bottoms together, making them impossible to try on, unless you are crouched.  In socks, with the lumpen whiteness, this would be quite a special sight.  Niche.  I notice that this year, everything seems to come with a pelmet.  Bikini bottoms have a frilly skirt - it seems that even genitals must have bunting in 2012.

After the novelty wears off, I develop cubicle fatigue, and decide to go food shopping instead.  I'm looking for some 'Lazy Lemongrass' - minced up, and ready to use.  I can't see any, so I ask a shop assistant, who looks utterly bemused. 

So bemused that I wonder whether she thinks I am making a value judgement about the lemongrass.  Lazy lemongrass.  As opposed to motivated broccoli.  Or diligent bacon. 

Shop Assistant: 'Well, we've got lemongrass paste...  But it's not lazy...'

Sorry.  My mistake.  Pasty, not lazy. 

Of course, some of us are pasty AND lazy...