Day 214: Wisdom of Rihanna

I leave the house twice today.  On both occasions it rains brutally hard within minutes.  The downpour is accompanied by gusts of wind that make a mockery of my umbrella.  Now, I've got a reasonable degree of umbrella-mastery.  I know how to angle the dome into the wind, so it's doesn't get flipped inside out.  But there's not much you can do about a weak ratchet.  A soon as the wind applies any pressure the umbrella folds up, swallowing my head like a Venus Flytrap*.  I return home and plan an umbrella-buying excursion, and then have to sit down for a bit, just to acclimatise to the glamour and frantic pace of my day. 

(* This wouldn't happen to Rihanna.  She has three (see right).  A main one (a. umbrella), and two back-ups (b. ella, c. ella).  I didn't have her down as a planner, but this is impressive work.)

My sister calls.  (This is a rare event - we speak a couple of times a year.)  She is anxious.  This is normal.  She suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, and is prone to anxiety attacks on a major scale.  But she doesn't normally call me.  She normally calls my mother. 

And here's the problem.  Mum is not picking up.  V has been trying for the last five hours (and that probably means every five minutes).  I reassure her - maybe Mum is out, or there's a fault with her landline.  And I'm pretty sure that's the case. 

Practical

But then the internal dialogue starts.  What if she's lying at the bottom of the stairs with a broken leg?  What if she's had an asthma attack and can't reach her inhaler?  What if she's licked a live wire/impaled herself on a clothes horse/fallen into boiling jam?  While I'm faffing about making excuses... 

Should I jump in the car and thrash round the M25 at rush hour just in case?  If only I could ring her neighbour - but I don't have his number, and I only know him as Graham (not much good for directory enquiries).

So I ring my brother in Spain.  (This is a rare event - we speak a couple of times a year.)  Perhaps he has Graham's number.  Or surname.

Just as I get through, V rings.  She's finally spoken to Mum - who does indeed have a line fault.  Relief. 

Rihanna would never have found herself in this situation. 

I think we can all learn from her.  Have an umbrella, but always keep a couple of ellas in hand.  Just in case.