Day 213: Pretend Sunday

Today doesn't feel like a Tuesday.  It's definitely a Sunday.  So in line with that, and the autumnal weather, I roast a chicken, and attempt to buy a new waterproof jacket that lives up to its name. 

Not me.  At all. 

It's harder than I expected.  The sales 'assistant' isn't very good at assisting.  Mainly because I think she's disturbed that I'm trying on men's coats. 

I try to explain - 'I've got long arms.'  I'm getting nothing back from her.  'Like a monkey...' I trail off as she looks at me blankly. 

The real issue

And it's true.  I do have long arms. 

But the real reason is that I dislike 'ladies' waterproofs - both the cut (slightly waisted), and also the colours (invariably ones I do not want to wear).  Sky blue.  Mauve.  Pink.  I want something dark and sludgy, big and baggy enough for me and lots of layers.  I am not Anthea Turner. 

But she is very insistent that I go downstairs and at least look at the ladies section.  I oblige.  I even try on a purple number, secure in the knowledge that I will absolutely not be buying it. 

I'm back upstairs within three minutes.  'No good?' she asks, looking at me with dead eyes.  I shoot straight back - 'Arms too short'. 

She doesn't believe me.  'Really??'  'YES.'  (And they are - although only slightly.  I don't want to get into a rant about colour and cut and Anthea.  She won't understand.)

I order a long length baggy dark green man's waterproof, and go home to eat roast chicken.  It's easy when you've got monkey arms.