I am despatched to a trade timber yard, which appears deserted until a man zooms up in a forklift truck. He grunts at me. I tell him what I want - 1.2m 75 x 75 PAR (yes, obviously I want it PAR - I may be a civilian but I can pretend I'm not). He nods, and accelerates away, beckoning me to follow him. I trot after the forklift obediently like a dog in a farmyard. In the office, where I pay a stupidly small amount for my piece of timber (never again, B&Q), I am eyed with suspicion. I'm not about to divulge that I'm running an errand for Mick the carpenter. By my silence I am implying (worryingly) that it's quite possible that I, a lady, am replacing a window sill myself. (This is pure fantasy on my part - I'm happy to attempt most DIY jobs, but window carpentry is just a step too far. Know your limits.)The house smells of fresh wood. Exciting.

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