Day 272: Heatwave to Crimewave

Crime statistics rise with the mercury.  According to an unverified but appealing source there are increases in 'violent crime, spouse abuse, hornhonking and delivery of electric shock'.

I am lying low, because today is risky.  It is jungly hot.  If this was the suburbs of New York, it would be wife-beater vests and liberated fire hydrants.  If this was the Deep South, it would be mint juleps on the veranda.  But as this is St Albans, it is almond Magnums and trips to Sainsburys for barbecue charcoal and sausages. 

Front and back doors open for ventilation, with a half-eye out for cat intruders.  Buttercup is on my mind.  Cat, not cow.  Long dead, but forever memorable because of her mission in life, which was to get upstairs and shit under the beds.  Accomplished on many occasions. 

Today cat crime is non-existent.  Probably because all cats are sensibly lying down.  Rather than indulging in violence, spouse abuse, hornhonking and delivery of electric shock.