Having given no thought to stand up over the last few weeks, I wake up this morning with a bunch of new material in my head. Completely unbidden. The god of stand up moves in mysterious ways. Maybe it's not time for me to hang up the mic yet. Maybe.
A visit to the parcel depot to cash in the three 'While You Were Out' cards I have collected over the last week. A huge tailback of people, right out the door and into the industrial estate. The staff are managing their stress levels, self-medicating with Roses and Heroes. I hand over my cards, and wait. Other people are called to the service hatch as I continue to wait. Time passes. I get bored. I try to summon a mini-Twirl using psychokinesis. I fail.
Eventually my parcel-guardian returns, to confess that one of mine is missing-in-action. He is professionally embarrassed, and bemused, but essentially unable to help at all. I am sent away and asked to come back 'at any time'. Nice to know the door is open for me, but not sure what this will achieve, apart from refreshing my sense of betrayal and loss. The thing that really surprises me is how lo-fi I am about it. I find myself saying 'Oh - fair enough. Well, thanks for looking.' Like I don't really want my parcel anyway. A nice to have, but nothing more. Not sure that's the way to encourage serious parcel retrieval efforts. But at the same time, there's no point having a nose bleed over it.
I had a lot of nose bleeds when I was at school. Particularly in the swimming pool or when I lost my temper (or both - Venn possibility here). Useful tactic to underline your point with visual impact. Especially in the pool.
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