Day 297: Yes, Madam?

A job in Paternoster Square.  I am ushered up into an imposing room with a picture window from which London is displayed like a tapestry of landmarks.  If the Green Goblin were London-based, this would be the view behind his swivel chair of power.  The receptionist leaves me with the terrifying words 'I'll send the butler in to serve you.'  She exits on my weak 'No.  Please, please don't.'  Too late.  Butler arrives and to save a wasted trip I feel forced to have a coffee.  Butler stalks to the far end of the room, pours a coffee from a completely-accessible-to-me jug, positions it with great precision, is disappointed that I do not have any breakfast requests, and leaves.  I feel torn between discomfort and laughter.  Discomfort wins. 

Please go away

I am not at ease with this sort of status theatre.  Which is what this is.  Ostensibly hospitality, the real meaning of this display is a message of wealth and power.  While others may be cutting back on the meeting room biscuits, here you will get a butler on a special trip to serve you coffee you could easily pour yourself.

They have a vending machine for gold.  Seriously.

Think it's safe to say that I will never be troubling the seven star Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi*.  I could not cope with the private butler stress.  I get awkward when room service arrives in a bog standard Jarvis.  (And yes, I pretend to be on the phone, just to bring a third person into the room to break the tension.)

* Fortunately this decision is completely in line with my budgetary restrictions.  All is well.