Day 73: Blog Master

Today a Lakeland catalogue arrives.  It is full of things I did not know existed.  Mainly things that appear to be deeply anti-spoon.

THE BOILED EGG LIFTER  (Seriously.)  I quote: 'the welcome arrival of the Egg Lifter allows you to lift out your ready-boiled egg from water without chasing it around the pan.' 

(Good.  We are liberated from egg-chasing.  It's been a nightmare.  Hasn't it?)

THE TEA TOOL  I'm going to have to quote again.  'Pop a tea bag in the cage, place it in your cup and pour the hot water in, give it a stir and press the plunger to squeeze the bag, releasing all the flavour and excess water.  Then, pull the plunger to drop the bag in the bin. 

(Thank God.  No more risk of 'touching the bag'.)

So, throw away your spoons. 



And while you're at it, your vegetable peeler.  Simply no need:-

APPLE MASTER - 'Also great for potatoes.  Just fix the food on the prongs, clamp in place, and turn the handle - what could be easier?'

(Not jizzing around with a traditional peeler, that's for certain!  Way too complicated.  Leave that for carrots and other things... that don't fit on the Apple Master.)



This is a dangerous catalogue.  It sucks you in.  I start off weeping with laughter, but by page three, I'm actually considering a 'poachpod'.  And I'd have an Apple Master, just for the intoxicating power.  I'm a sucker for anything that promises mastery (Route Master, Stair Master, Pie Master, Web Master).  Sticking 'master' on the end of anything definitely makes it more exciting.

Thank you, Lakeland, for enlivening a bland day of simple achievements.  One of which was a stew.

You know what's coming. 

Yes.  Stew Master.