Day 9: Slow

A quiet, slow day.  A mug of good coffee, the Sunday papers and the ruminative pleasures of a packet of Maltesers.  Several options of approach.  The Pitbull - straight-down-the-line crunch.  My Little Pony - suck the chocolate off and let the honeycomb slowly collapse into a sticky sweet puddle.  The Derren (my favourite) - bisect (incisor work) and flip both halves, honeycomb down, on the end of your tongue, where they dissolve quickly, leaving an empty chocolate carapace.  This last requires skill and precision.  It must be a neat and equal splice.  And there are risks - during bisection, the chocolate can fall off the honeycomb ball (aka 'The Magnum' - disappointing) or an uneven split can cause crumbling and erosion (messy and unprofessional).  My preferred ratio (given that there are approximately eighteen Maltesers per packet) is Pitbull 6: My Little Pony 2: The Derren 10.  One the rare occasion I get a conjoined twin (aka Chollocks) I'd always go Pitbull.  Just so you know.  Never underestimate small pleasures.

Laundry.  I salute the rogue socks that evaded the round-up by going feral and hiding behind the sofa. 

Invoices (dull).  Food shopping (mince-pie dodging).  Lunch (unambitious). 

And now on the sofa, where the socks and I are watching 'Beowulf' - the 2007 animated version.  We are enjoying it a great deal.  Beowulf (Ray Winstone) is hugely confident, and much given to nude fighting.  There's something very high status about getting naked before you whop your opponent's arse.  'Not only will I take you on, but I will do it without protective clothing, and with all my junk on view.'  Obviously this is a whole load easier when you are animated (no weird bits/cellulite/sense of shame etc), but as a general approach I applaud it.  Perhaps metaphorically rather than literally.  

Sometimes there is nothing I like better than an undemanding and restorative day on home turf.  My breathing is calm.  My hands are steady.  If any demons come to the door, there's every chance I'll get nude-oh before I show them who's boss.