Day 109: It's a Big One

Watching 'River Monsters'.  Cool-headed Brit fisherman, Jeremy Wade, ventures into inhospitable rivers-that-time-forgot in search of fishy nightmares.

Bigfoot sighting

And FINDS them.  Unlike the many programmes I have watched on things like Bigfoot, the Beast of Bodmin, the Yeti (etc).  Blurry footage, tracks, locals yarning round a camp fire - all deeply exciting, and then a gradual and inevitable tail-off into 'Will we ever know the TRUTH about Bigfoot/TBOB/the Yeti?'  (No.  Probably not.) 

But Jeremy delivers.  With extra features.  Today as he fishes, he is stalked by a caiman, who's eyeing him like a stoner faced with a tube of Pringles.  Then he and his crew are hit by lightning - the sound guy is knocked to his feet, but saved by the insulating rubber on his massive trainers.  Everyone feels 'a bit headachey'.  That's a lightning strike for you. 

Kiss the Wolf Fish

Naughty

But this is 'River Monsters' - no time for faffing about with health and safety when a WOLF FISH needs to be caught.  (Cut to heavily-scarred locals, and tales of furious attacks, lost hands, and disembowelled dogs.)

 Jeremy has his eyes on the prize, but there's a problem.  The redeye piranhas (bitey and cross) keep stealing the bait (naughty), so Jeremy has to wait until night (aka caiman party time) to do his thing.  A frustrating caiman-related near-miss (bleep-filled angst), and it's getting to the point where I'm anticipating a flabby ending ('Will we ever know the TRUTH about the wolf fish?') when Jezza suddenly gets a bite.

Goliath Tiger Fish.  FFS.

Cue the sacred words 'It's a BIG ONE'.  And it is.  He lands it.  Peas fall off my fork as I stare.  It's horrific - beefy, and prehistoric and dead-eyed.  He puts it back, to swim lazily away.  Gone. 

But it will remain forever in the darkest creek of my psyche, motionless in the muddy depths.  Always ready to take a hand or a dog down into the murk with a swirl of a scaley tail. 

AAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!  AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!

I love 'River Monsters'.