Day 137: Shit Diver

Breakfast bangers

A lesiurely final breakfast in the King of Prussia, looking out over the river.  There's much activity on the quay.  A knot of men in high-vis vests and hard hats are clustered round a small crane, from which dangles a rudimentary cage.  A man wearing a dry suit emerges from a changing-shed.  He is clearly the star of the show.  Middle-aged, bulky, shaved head - he moves slowly and with gravitas.  The cage disappears from view, a breathing tube the only clue to let you know a man is submerged in the depths.  It all looks very exciting - what is he doing on the river bed? 

Time to quiz the man who serves breakfast - what's going on?  He smirks grimly.  'Have you finished eating?  Good.  Because that man's not diving in the river...'

The cage slowly emerges - the dry-suit man is looking a little grubby now.  As well he might, having been submerged in Fowey's backed-up sewer. 

'Dirty' Harry

A shit diver.  A man who is literally dobbed in it.  In the shit.  Having a shitty day. 

He wears it well.  Very self-possessed and still.  Like a fat Clint Eastwood.  You'd need a cool head down there.  One wrong move, and it would be a very unpleasant end.         

My godmother's second marriage was to a man who was a Church of England bishop.  He was calm, and quiet and gentle.  As a child I remember the dog collar atop his purple shirt and the big ring on his finger.  He was in his eighties and doddery when he took a walk to the end of the garden, forgetful of the fact that the cess pit had been opened for maintenance.  He fell in and drowned.  I was about sixteen at the time, thinking in black and white, and took it as hard evidence that organised religion was BAD.  I still subscribe to this point of view, but without the attribution.  I don't think the cess-drowning represents the wages of religious devotion.  Just a very unpleasant and sad fluke.     

Of course, the fat Clint Eastwood has a breathing tube.  As long as you've got one of those, you're alright.  Even in deep shit.   

(This picture shows the real Clint Eastwood, with his very own 'breathing tube'.  Whatever works for you.)