Stool Pigeon

Stools.  You owe me for this restraint.

As I mentioned last week, I am facing a health assessment. Part of which requires a 'stool' sample, which I harvested* this morning. There are more glamorous ways to start a day.

I think the experience has scarred me slightly. Wandering around H&M this afternoon and I become aware of the chorus of the bland R'nB track they're playing - 'Faeces in the crooo-wwwddd, faeces in the crooo-wwwddd.' I freeze by the leggings, half-sniggering, half-disbelieving, and wait for the chorus to come back round.

Realise that it's the strangled pronunciation that's misleading me. It's not 'faeces', it's 'faces'. Less of a bowel problem; more of a vowel problem.

Not a surprising mondegreen, though. Just a reminder that it's important where you put your focus at the start of the day. It can stay with you.

(*I am pleased by my choice of the word 'harvested' - it gives the whole procedure a bucolic glow.  All is safely gathered in etc).