Friday, 27 April 2012

Day 174: Car Park Breakfast

Breakfast in a multi-storey car park in Kingston.  I do a lot of car park breakfasts.  Mainly because I have to be places really early. 

It's OK.  I take a Thermos of coffee and a decent mug (I can't deal with the stupid thimble provided with the flask). 

I pretend I'm on a stakeout.

Obviously. 

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Day 173: Code Breaker

Code Two warning - be careful
around men of 'action'.  
Today at King's Cross there is a tannoy announcement.  'Would a member of cleaning staff please attend a Code Two by the lifts to the concourse.'  Intriguing.  What is a 'Code Two'?  The obvious guess would be (childishly) a 'Number Two', but surely Transport for London are more imaginative? 

A quick internet search confirms that they're not.  'Code Two' is indeed a 'Number Two'.  But ALSO a 'Number One'.  (Which is stupid, because I do not think they can be sensibly grouped in the same cleaning category.  One is a simple mop job.  The other a more complex scoop/bag/mop business.  Weird.) 

Anyway, here is a breakdown of all of the relevent codes, in case you hear a tannoy announcement, and want the mystery decodified:-
Code Six emergency

Code One: Blood
Code Two: Urine/Faeces
Code Three: Vomit
Code Four: Spillage
Code Five: Broken Glass
Code Six: Litter

In related news, I circumnavigate some Code Three outside the kebab shop as I walk back from the station.

(I like this.  I also like Alpha/Bravo/Charlie-ing.  Doesn't everyone?  Over and out.)





Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Day 172: Favourite Halves

Here they are

Jack White is on Jools Holland.  I hope there's an interview. 

There is. 

He's very interesting to watch - a strange combination of elf and lumberjack.  And, as Julian Barratt so memorably pointed out, with 'tiny kitten's teeth'*. 

(*This came from a Mighty Boosh interview with Jonathan Ross, where Noel was twirling and pirouetting, doing the tits n' teeth, and Julian was hanging back, all silent and hating being there.

Then, perfectly timed, he quietly chipped in with the kitten-teeth comment.  Pow!  Brilliant, specific, unforgettable.  (Please note that it was relevant to the conversation - he didn't just crowbar in a pre-prepped Jack White non-sequitur.)  One of the many reasons that Julian Barratt is my favourite half of the Boosh.)

Anyway - back to Jack White.  Enough about his new five-star album.  The real news is that he's re-opened his upholstery shop.  Yes.  His UPHOLSTERY shop ('Your Furniture Is Not Dead').  Imagine just walking in, to get your nan's old armchair re-chintzed - there's Jack White with a mouthful of tacks in a pinny.  If I'd had to come up with a Venn diagram of rock stars and upholstery, I'd never have thought that Jack was the intersection. 

Brilliant.  One of the many reasons that Jack White is my favourite half of The (now defunct) White Stripes.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Day 171: Frequent Flyer

A rare visit to the National Theatre, to see a one-man show at the Cottesloe.  Inua Ellam's 'Black T-Shirt Collection'.  It's a thank you from the friend I bailed out last week.  Very good to be back at the National - it's been a long time. 

Years.  When I was a teenager, it seemed the most glamourously bohemian place.  I revelled in its unashamedly ugly timber-textured concrete (and I still do).  I indiscriminately watched as much as I could (I've stopped that) and I collected flyers from the foyer and blu-tacked them all over my bedroom walls to give them personality (I've stopped that too). 

I was particularly fond of this one for King Lear. 





    




    

Monday, 23 April 2012

Day 170: A Serious Man

'Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you' - Rashi. 

The Coen brothers' film, 'A Serious Man' starts with this perplexing quote.  Sounds pretty straight forward initially, but to me, the more you think about it, the more you can twist yourself up in knots over EXACTLY what it means. 

As with the film.  Billed as a comedy, there are some darkly funny moments, but overall it's way too bleak for such a classification.  Whatever.  It's fascinating. 

It starts with an extraordinary folk tale, in which a woman stabs an old man who has helped her husband.  Because she believes him to be a 'dybbuk', who will bring a curse on the house.  We never get to find out whether she's right, and has averted evil - or wrong, and murdered an innocent man.  We then move forward in time to the 1960s.  The folk tale is never referenced or mentioned again.  I was waiting for it to reappear (as anyone with basic story-telling chops knows, you expect something like this to be justified or reincorporated).  It's brilliant that it doesn't.  Because it introduces in the most unsettling way, the concept of uncertainty, which is the theme running through the film.  One character even explicitly talks about having to 'accept the mystery'. 

So I suppose that's the point.  That however much we want to understand, there are rarely any clear and easy answers.  All that remains is how you face the uncertainty. 

It's been a long time since I've seen a film that got me thinking as much as this one.  I've been scuffling around with it in my head ever since I saw it.

Which isn't exactly receiving with simplicity...  Ho hum.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Day 169: White Room

Bowling down winding lanes in deepest Hertfordshire, singing along to the radio and channel-hopping. 

Here's 1970s self-styled 'supergroup' Cream, with 'The White Room'. When you only know the first seven words, you have to improvise the rest. 

One of these versions is theirs.  One is mine. 


In the white room with black curtains near the station
Blackroof country, no gold pavements, tired starlings
Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes
Dawnlight smiles on you leaving, my contentment

In the white room with black curtains and a sofa
There's a telly, plus a bean bag, and some nick-nacks
Empty bottles and newspapers and a menu
From the Thai on the corner, by the Abbey

You're welcome. 

Friday, 20 April 2012

Day 168: Good Pain

Last night I beasted myself with kettlebells.  This morning I thought it would hurt, so was very impressed and surprised to wake up feeling limber and smug.  Foolish and premature.  By lunchtime I could feel my shoulders and thighs stiffening.  Now I feel like I have taken a sound beating.  I sense it is going to get worse before it gets better. 

But there is a perverse enjoyment to post-exercise muscle pain.  When your arms are so sore that you can barely lift them to wash your hair in the shower.  A good pain. 

On the M25 for a third time this week.  Rain slashing down dramatically.  On one of the bridges above the motorway I see a troop of hikers.  I can tell they are hikers (as opposed to civilians), because they are fully kitted out in waterproofs, and they have big backpacks, and walking poles (professional).  They doggedly trudge over the bridge, in a line of determination.  Hoods up, heads down.  No amount of Gore-Tex could be a match for this quantity of water.  They must be very, very wet. 

I wonder where they're going?  This isn't Cumbria, or Yorkshire, or the Highlands.  It's a bridge over the M25.  Wherever it is (Amersham?  Rickmansworth?), I hope they get the classic post-hike-pain pay off.  The stupidly deep bath, the warm, dry clothes, the pint and the rib-sticking meal.  Preferably in a pub with an open fire.  The rewards are that much sweeter when they are hard-won.